please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize