Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize