I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
