the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she smelled like a LAN party
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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