I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so that wasnt chicken after all
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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