I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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