So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
