Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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