This is not my ceiling
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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