How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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