Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
