do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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