so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
