my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
