this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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