Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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