I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
