are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
