I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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