how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
