I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
