I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize