I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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