if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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