Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
that's an acceptable place to lick
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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