foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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