Yo dont text me then not text me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize