My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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