I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
