Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
