i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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