I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
