apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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