Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
