life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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