yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
