i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
