WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
my poor anus
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
