i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
