can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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