I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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