So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The uberlube is also flammable
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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