She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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