i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
