im six kinds of drunk right now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
