9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Drake has all the answers
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
