Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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