i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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