we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
