Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
