I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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