Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
