omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
