Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
