a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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