oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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