she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
