You just made me feel so damn special
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
