He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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