he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize